Dating Tips: What To Avoid On Your First Date

May 30th, 2015

First dates make everybody nervous. You’re never too sure on how to act or react on a first date. As much as you want the date to turn out right, there’s always a part of you that sees a bleaker picture.

So it never really hurts to go over some tips for the first date. You may probably have heard about these tips before. But it always pays to be reminded about them because in an uncomfortable situation, you’re bound to end up committing one of them.

The Three Things To Avoid On The First Date

Being aware of the things that you shouldn’t do on a first date strengthens the chances of seeing each other again. According to relationship expert, Ana Loiselle:

“There are three things the people commonly do that really ruin their chances to get to a second date.”

She shares these three things.

“The first one is they talk about their ex. It’s just a really bad idea . Going on and on about your ex makes the person that you’re actually on a date with … feel bad and it’s not focused on them. It’s actually focused on the ex. It makes the person wonder if you’re actually not over them.”

In case your date asks why you’re not married, Ana Loiselle recommends that you not answer such question.

“I say don’t! I think the best thing to do is to actually avoid the question to maybe stir them to another direction and let them know that you would rather talk about it at another time.”

You should always keep in mind that it’s just a first date and you aren’t be obliged to give to much personal information. Besides, it’s always better to be a little mysterious. Your date becomes more curious about you. This gives more chances of being asked out again.

The second mistake that most people commonly commit is that they monopolize the conversation. This happens a lot when you’re nervous.

“A lot of times, what people do … is talk and talk and talk and talk … But it’s not a good idea. You wanna get to know the other person; that’s why they’re there. So asking questions about common interest that you guys might share or maybe things that they’ve done that you don’t know about.”

This way, you can get to know more about your date and that’s pretty much the purpose of the date itself. But Ana has this to add:

“But remember, it should be back and forth. So if I asked you a question about your dreams and aspirations, the idea is that you banter back and ask me. That’s how to keep a conversation going.”

You really wouldn’t want to turn the date into an interrogation

The third mistake is that most people share their deepest secrets. It’s really advisable to keep that air of mystery.

“Stay away from things that are dark and uncomfortable because at best, the person is going to sit there and be polite. At worst, they may not come back from the bathroom.”

So always remember these three things. Who knows, you might just get to the second date.

My Thoughts On The Three Secret Tests Of Tao Of Badass

March 26th, 2015

tao-of-badass-joshua-pellicerWho says the Tao of Badass is solely for guys? I don’t. Suffice it to say, I have been learning a lot from it as well. It has streamlined and defined our actions towards men. Thanks to the Tao of Badass by Joshua Pellicer, I understand myself better now.

Here’s a good example. I took some time to look into the three secrets that we, women, supposedly or in my case, unknowingly, give to men. I never really thought I was doing it until I went over the three secrets. I must say that Joshua really knows us well. He surely isn’t kidding when he says:

“But when it comes to women, I am a complete badass and here’s why. I learned the things to say, the way to act, and the right timing for everything that I do that makes women uncontrollably gravitate toward me.”

I gotta hand that to him.

It’s A Fact: Women Test Men

Yes, this is a fact and I do agree with Joshua. We, women, like to test men. It’s our “damsel in distress” syndrome that leads us to the hope of finding our prince charming. And because of that, we filter out the men that we think don’t qualify for the position. Joshua describes it really well.

“Women have what’s called a Filter Mechanism. A Filter Mechanism basically means … their job is to filter out all the weak and insecure men who aren’t actually confident and make sure that those guys are not coming into their life.”

With the Filter Mechanism, only the confident men can get close to us.

First Test: Compliance Test

According to Joshua, the first test that we, women, give to men is the Compliance Test.

“The first test is possibly the most common test that men see … it’s called a Compliance Test. A Compliance Test is when a woman asks you to do something and she really doesn’t want you to do it for her. She’s just asking to see if you’re going to jump up off your seat and do anything that she says …”

Megan X at, a Tao Of Badass review site argues that we, women, do this because we DON’T want to end up with a guy that will bend to our every whim. And why is that so? Joshua explains it quite well.

“Because a guy who bends to her every will is not used to dealing with beautiful women and therefore he’s gonna do anything she wants him to do.”

Great point!

Second Test: Congruence Test

This second test is one that I totally agree on. The Congruence Test is the test that we, women, like to give guys that think they got it all. Thanks to Joshua, this test has now a name.

“A Congruence Test is something you’ll get more often if you’re pretending to cooler than you are.”

How many times have I met a cool dude in the bar only to end up embarrassing him. The reason for that is that we, women, look beyond the supposedly cool surface of a guy. No matter how abrasive we are on the first few minutes meeting, it matters how the supposedly cool dude behaves. If he’s as cool as he in the inside, then he has a tremendous chance of seeing us again.

“Guys that are very confident are used to women doing this to them …”

Third Test: The Gender Role

The third test is a tricky power play of sorts. The Gender Role test is when we start to take charge and see how the guy can follow and eventually lead the interaction process in the first ten minutes of meeting.

“The way this comes out is that she’ll begin to take charge or take control of the interaction … leading around, turning away, stepping back, talking to someone else.”

According to Joshua Pellicer’s the Tao of BADASS dating tips, we do this to test the guy to determine if he’s strong enough to take charge of relationship. Will he follow or just totally disappear? It’s important to see how the guy responds to this test.

I must say that Joshua really gives guys a clear cut view of how we, women, assess any guy.

Should You Move On Or Get Back With Your Ex?

October 25th, 2014

dating-your-exNo one is spared from the pain of breaking up. Unless, of course, you’re the one that’s breaking up. But even if that’s the case, you’d still be a little hurt; wouldn’t you? After all, it’s never easy letting go.

But breakups happen and it just hurts to the core. Even if you are advised to move on, it’s very hard to take that first step to freedom. You’d much rather want to just disappear from the face of the earth.

But you need to deal with the pain. While the pain doesn’t disappear right away, you need to accept it so that you can really ponder on what to do next. Only then can you really decide whether to move on or get back with your ex.

Your Next Move Is Your Choice

Whatever your next move is, it’s your choice. This is a decision that you would have to make on your own. No one should influence you in coming up with that decision.

But of course, it’s not going to be easy. You’d have to think back and analyze every little detail in your relationship which is not going to be easy. So it really wouldn’t hurt to see what dating expert, Marni Battista, has to say about this particular situation. Her guidelines can surely help you decide on what your next move should be.

Clear Signs That You Shouldn’t Get Back With Your Ex

According to Marni Battista, there are clear signs as to why you shouldn’t get back to your ex. Take a look at each and every sign to see if it’s worth all the trouble.

Your Instinct Says So

While you may miss your ex a lot, your instinct says, “Good Riddance!” That itself is a clear sign that you should just move on. In this kind of situation, it’s worth it to trust your instinct. For all you know, that little voice has been screaming it out loud but you just never heard it. With the breakup, you’re hearing it loud and clear. Maybe it’s time to listen to it.

There Are Patterns of Cheating

You never even have to think twice about this. If your ex has been cheating on you, especially with those wide hip women from his past, just let go. You’re finally out of that relationship, you should actually be celebrating! This is one clear sign that says, “Move on…NOW!”

You’re Just Desperate

If you’re just too desperate about letting go then it’s not worth getting back with your ex. This is the reason why you need to face and accept the pain first. Once you’ve done that, you won’t be too desperate about the situation. That’s the only time when you can think clearly.

You Just Miss Having Someone Beside You

If you just miss having someone beside you, then maybe it’s time to buy a dog or a cat. But, clearly, it’s not time to get back with your ex.

So make sure none of these warning signs are flashing right before your eyes.

Making That Decision

Once you’re really sure that you want to get back to your ex, make sure of these two things. First, make sure that you have a clear grasp as to why you guys broke up. Think hard as to why it had happened. Can the two meet halfway about it? Can it be fixed? Is it worth resolving? Only you can answer the questions. Second, make sure that you are making a decision based on your own judgement and not based on what other people think and want. This is your decision, not theirs.

So should you move on or get back with your ex? Only you can answer that question.