Dating Tips: What To Avoid On Your First Date

First dates make everybody nervous. You’re never too sure on how to act or react on a first date. As much as you want the date to turn out right, there’s always a part of you that sees a bleaker picture.

So it never really hurts to go over some tips for the first date. You may probably have heard about these tips before. But it always pays to be reminded about them because in an uncomfortable situation, you’re bound to end up committing one of them.

The Three Things To Avoid On The First Date

Being aware of the things that you shouldn’t do on a first date strengthens the chances of seeing each other again. According to relationship expert, Ana Loiselle:

“There are three things the people commonly do that really ruin their chances to get to a second date.”

She shares these three things.

“The first one is they talk about their ex. It’s just a really bad idea . Going on and on about your ex makes the person that you’re actually on a date with … feel bad and it’s not focused on them. It’s actually focused on the ex. It makes the person wonder if you’re actually not over them.”

In case your date asks why you’re not married, Ana Loiselle recommends that you not answer such question.

“I say don’t! I think the best thing to do is to actually avoid the question to maybe stir them to another direction and let them know that you would rather talk about it at another time.”

You should always keep in mind that it’s just a first date and you aren’t be obliged to give to much personal information. Besides, it’s always better to be a little mysterious. Your date becomes more curious about you. This gives more chances of being asked out again.

The second mistake that most people commonly commit is that they monopolize the conversation. This happens a lot when you’re nervous.

“A lot of times, what people do … is talk and talk and talk and talk … But it’s not a good idea. You wanna get to know the other person; that’s why they’re there. So asking questions about common interest that you guys might share or maybe things that they’ve done that you don’t know about.”

This way, you can get to know more about your date and that’s pretty much the purpose of the date itself. But Ana has this to add:

“But remember, it should be back and forth. So if I asked you a question about your dreams and aspirations, the idea is that you banter back and ask me. That’s how to keep a conversation going.”

You really wouldn’t want to turn the date into an interrogation

The third mistake is that most people share their deepest secrets. It’s really advisable to keep that air of mystery.

“Stay away from things that are dark and uncomfortable because at best, the person is going to sit there and be polite. At worst, they may not come back from the bathroom.”

So always remember these three things. Who knows, you might just get to the second date.



Making That Call After The First Date

first-date-making-a-callThis is a major decision we all make. Should we call right after the first date or should we wait until he calls? And if what if he doesn’t call? Al these mind boggling questions always arise the day after we wake from a great night out with some amazing guy we had just met.

Wait A Little While?

Well apparently, it all depends on the situation. According to SHALcTV, an online video resource for fashion, movie reviews, and relationship, calling two days after the date is just about the right amount of waiting time.

“… the age-old question, when do you call somebody after the first date? So most of the time people think that they have to wait three days and that’s super traditional and I’m throwing that out the window because that’s too long.”

So here’s her suggestion.

“I say two days if the date went really well.”

She makes a great point. Two days of waiting is more than enough.

“It’s enough time for you to build excitement and anticipation and butterflies in your stomach …”

I totally agree with that. Waiting two days is enough to hold on to the memory of the fun night. That memory is a good point where the two of you had just left off. If there’s no follow up from that point, then the excitement, mystery, and even the intrigue is gone.

But here’s another thought to consider.

“If you had an evening date and it went well and it’s … ten or eleven o’clock and you want to make sure that person gets home safe. Let them know. Say, “Hey, just send me a text so I know you got back safely.”

This shows that you are really concerned about the person. It’s also a great way to sustain the communication line between the two of you. Somewhere along the text messages, you can drop a line that implies that you want to see him again.

Go Ahead If You Can’t Wait

Surely it’s okay to call in less than two days. I know how tiring it can get to keep checking on text messages and missed calls.

“If you cannot wait two days to talk to somebody, you absolutely cannot wait, send him a text message.”

Tell the guy that you really had a great time. Thank him for a one fun night but also make sure to imply that you are excited to see him again. But be careful. Calling him right away can somehow reflect that you’re thinking about him. That might just scare him off. Remember, you don’t know what he’s thinking of at that point.

“I still think two days is a good thing because it allows that person to think that you have things to do and a life beyond him. Definitely wait two days if you can.”

So He Doesn’t Call At All

Here’s the lowdown. What if he doesn’t call at all? As much as it may hurt, it just totally shows that he’s not interested. Sure it was a fun night but some guys can really pull it off for one night and totally move the next day.

So should you call him? Sure why not. That is if you want to hear it straight from his mouth. But his mere action of NOT calling you should be enough of an answer for you.

So there you go. Make that decision to call him after the first date. But also make the decision to accept whatever happens after the call.