Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

My Thoughts On The Three Secret Tests Of Tao Of Badass

tao-of-badass-joshua-pellicerWho says the Tao of Badass is solely for guys? I don’t. Suffice it to say, I have been learning a lot from it as well. It has streamlined and defined our actions towards men. Thanks to the Tao of Badass by Joshua Pellicer, I understand myself better now.

Here’s a good example. I took some time to look into the three secrets that we, women, supposedly or in my case, unknowingly, give to men. I never really thought I was doing it until I went over the three secrets. I must say that Joshua really knows us well. He surely isn’t kidding when he says:

“But when it comes to women, I am a complete badass and here’s why. I learned the things to say, the way to act, and the right timing for everything that I do that makes women uncontrollably gravitate toward me.”

I gotta hand that to him.

It’s A Fact: Women Test Men

Yes, this is a fact and I do agree with Joshua. We, women, like to test men. It’s our “damsel in distress” syndrome that leads us to the hope of finding our prince charming. And because of that, we filter out the men that we think don’t qualify for the position. Joshua describes it really well.

“Women have what’s called a Filter Mechanism. A Filter Mechanism basically means … their job is to filter out all the weak and insecure men who aren’t actually confident and make sure that those guys are not coming into their life.”

With the Filter Mechanism, only the confident men can get close to us.

First Test: Compliance Test

According to Joshua, the first test that we, women, give to men is the Compliance Test.

“The first test is possibly the most common test that men see … it’s called a Compliance Test. A Compliance Test is when a woman asks you to do something and she really doesn’t want you to do it for her. She’s just asking to see if you’re going to jump up off your seat and do anything that she says …”

Megan X at www.behavioralecology.net, a Tao Of Badass review site argues that we, women, do this because we DON’T want to end up with a guy that will bend to our every whim. And why is that so? Joshua explains it quite well.

“Because a guy who bends to her every will is not used to dealing with beautiful women and therefore he’s gonna do anything she wants him to do.”

Great point!

Second Test: Congruence Test

This second test is one that I totally agree on. The Congruence Test is the test that we, women, like to give guys that think they got it all. Thanks to Joshua, this test has now a name.

“A Congruence Test is something you’ll get more often if you’re pretending to cooler than you are.”

How many times have I met a cool dude in the bar only to end up embarrassing him. The reason for that is that we, women, look beyond the supposedly cool surface of a guy. No matter how abrasive we are on the first few minutes meeting, it matters how the supposedly cool dude behaves. If he’s as cool as he in the inside, then he has a tremendous chance of seeing us again.

“Guys that are very confident are used to women doing this to them …”

Third Test: The Gender Role

The third test is a tricky power play of sorts. The Gender Role test is when we start to take charge and see how the guy can follow and eventually lead the interaction process in the first ten minutes of meeting.

“The way this comes out is that she’ll begin to take charge or take control of the interaction … leading around, turning away, stepping back, talking to someone else.”

According to Joshua Pellicer’s the Tao of BADASS dating tips, we do this to test the guy to determine if he’s strong enough to take charge of relationship. Will he follow or just totally disappear? It’s important to see how the guy responds to this test.

I must say that Joshua really gives guys a clear cut view of how we, women, assess any guy.

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Want To Meet The Right Guy? Stop Looking!

dating-mr-rightYou’ve looked everywhere. And probably even dated every single guy. But you still haven’t found the right guy. What are you to do?

Well if it’s any consolation, you’re not alone. You’re not the only one that hasn’t found the right guy. Look around you. You’ll find a lot of women looking for the right guy.

What Exactly Are You Looking For?

But the question is this. What exactly are the qualities you’re looking for? Have you actually really thought about it? Have you taken the time to actually list down all the qualities that you’re looking for? If not, then maybe you don’t know what you’re looking for.

That’s where the problem is. You’re looking for something. But you don’t know what it is. That’s pretty hard to do. Chances are, you won’t find what you’re looking for. How can you? You don’t know what you’re looking for.

Here’s a suggestion that can save you your precious sanity. Find out what you’re looking for. Write down the qualities if you have to. That can give you a clear cut picture of what you want. From there, you’ll be able to see the right guy.

Hold On To Your Wishlist

So write down all the qualities you want. Then make that your wishlist. Hold on to it. Why? Because chances are, you’ll soon forget what you’ve written down. That’s the sad truth. You can actually forget the qualities that you’re looking for. And if you forget them, you get all confused. Again, you’ll be looking for something that you’ve no idea about. That takes you back where you started.

So here’s a bit of an advice. Stick to your wishlist. If you want, make it your official dating checklist. This will come in handy every time you’re on a date. Finally, you’ll understand why you like him. And you’ll also understand why you don’t. Now, that’s going to help you find the right guy.

You Can’t Hurry Love

Analyze yourself. Be honest. Are you trying too hard? You can’t consider every single guy as Mr. Right. That just shows how desperate you are. At the same time, you can’t reject every single guy. If he’s lacking in some qualities, give it a shot. You can’t cross him out right away. Diana Ross and Phil Collins were right. You can’t hurry love.

Seriously, you just cannot speed up the whole dating process. Even if you were speed dating, it still wouldn’t be easy. You still wouldn’t be able to find Mr. Right. At least, not right away.

Don’t Rush

So girl, take your time. Don’t rush it. And if I may suggest, enjoy it. I’m sure someone has already said this to you. But I’ll say it just the same. Girl, you have the whole world ahead of you. Okay. You can shoot me for saying that. But it’s true.

You really want to meet Mr. Right, right? Then you need to take it easy. Stop looking for some kind of sign. Stop waiting for a white dove to appear. Stop waiting for a bouquet of roses to be delivered to you. And finally, stop rushing.

Take your time to really know what you’re looking for. Then hold on to that. Put in some considerations from time to time. But hang on to the main qualities. In due time, you’ll be able to visualize Mr. Right.

It’s really not easy to date these days. You’ll meet all kinds of guys. But if you have that one guy in mind, you’re safe. You don’t have to keep om looking. It’ll be easy for you to find Mr. Right. And you wouldn’t have to look so hard.

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Making That Call After The First Date

first-date-making-a-callThis is a major decision we all make. Should we call right after the first date or should we wait until he calls? And if what if he doesn’t call? Al these mind boggling questions always arise the day after we wake from a great night out with some amazing guy we had just met.

Wait A Little While?

Well apparently, it all depends on the situation. According to SHALcTV, an online video resource for fashion, movie reviews, and relationship, calling two days after the date is just about the right amount of waiting time.

“… the age-old question, when do you call somebody after the first date? So most of the time people think that they have to wait three days and that’s super traditional and I’m throwing that out the window because that’s too long.”

So here’s her suggestion.

“I say two days if the date went really well.”

She makes a great point. Two days of waiting is more than enough.

“It’s enough time for you to build excitement and anticipation and butterflies in your stomach …”

I totally agree with that. Waiting two days is enough to hold on to the memory of the fun night. That memory is a good point where the two of you had just left off. If there’s no follow up from that point, then the excitement, mystery, and even the intrigue is gone.

But here’s another thought to consider.

“If you had an evening date and it went well and it’s … ten or eleven o’clock and you want to make sure that person gets home safe. Let them know. Say, “Hey, just send me a text so I know you got back safely.”

This shows that you are really concerned about the person. It’s also a great way to sustain the communication line between the two of you. Somewhere along the text messages, you can drop a line that implies that you want to see him again.

Go Ahead If You Can’t Wait

Surely it’s okay to call in less than two days. I know how tiring it can get to keep checking on text messages and missed calls.

“If you cannot wait two days to talk to somebody, you absolutely cannot wait, send him a text message.”

Tell the guy that you really had a great time. Thank him for a one fun night but also make sure to imply that you are excited to see him again. But be careful. Calling him right away can somehow reflect that you’re thinking about him. That might just scare him off. Remember, you don’t know what he’s thinking of at that point.

“I still think two days is a good thing because it allows that person to think that you have things to do and a life beyond him. Definitely wait two days if you can.”

So He Doesn’t Call At All

Here’s the lowdown. What if he doesn’t call at all? As much as it may hurt, it just totally shows that he’s not interested. Sure it was a fun night but some guys can really pull it off for one night and totally move the next day.

So should you call him? Sure why not. That is if you want to hear it straight from his mouth. But his mere action of NOT calling you should be enough of an answer for you.

So there you go. Make that decision to call him after the first date. But also make the decision to accept whatever happens after the call.

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