Archive for the ‘Dating Tips’ Category

My Thoughts On The Three Secret Tests Of Tao Of Badass

tao-of-badass-joshua-pellicerWho says the Tao of Badass is solely for guys? I don’t. Suffice it to say, I have been learning a lot from it as well. It has streamlined and defined our actions towards men. Thanks to the Tao of Badass by Joshua Pellicer, I understand myself better now.

Here’s a good example. I took some time to look into the three secrets that we, women, supposedly or in my case, unknowingly, give to men. I never really thought I was doing it until I went over the three secrets. I must say that Joshua really knows us well. He surely isn’t kidding when he says:

“But when it comes to women, I am a complete badass and here’s why. I learned the things to say, the way to act, and the right timing for everything that I do that makes women uncontrollably gravitate toward me.”

I gotta hand that to him.

It’s A Fact: Women Test Men

Yes, this is a fact and I do agree with Joshua. We, women, like to test men. It’s our “damsel in distress” syndrome that leads us to the hope of finding our prince charming. And because of that, we filter out the men that we think don’t qualify for the position. Joshua describes it really well.

“Women have what’s called a Filter Mechanism. A Filter Mechanism basically means … their job is to filter out all the weak and insecure men who aren’t actually confident and make sure that those guys are not coming into their life.”

With the Filter Mechanism, only the confident men can get close to us.

First Test: Compliance Test

According to Joshua, the first test that we, women, give to men is the Compliance Test.

“The first test is possibly the most common test that men see … it’s called a Compliance Test. A Compliance Test is when a woman asks you to do something and she really doesn’t want you to do it for her. She’s just asking to see if you’re going to jump up off your seat and do anything that she says …”

Megan X at www.behavioralecology.net, a Tao Of Badass review site argues that we, women, do this because we DON’T want to end up with a guy that will bend to our every whim. And why is that so? Joshua explains it quite well.

“Because a guy who bends to her every will is not used to dealing with beautiful women and therefore he’s gonna do anything she wants him to do.”

Great point!

Second Test: Congruence Test

This second test is one that I totally agree on. The Congruence Test is the test that we, women, like to give guys that think they got it all. Thanks to Joshua, this test has now a name.

“A Congruence Test is something you’ll get more often if you’re pretending to cooler than you are.”

How many times have I met a cool dude in the bar only to end up embarrassing him. The reason for that is that we, women, look beyond the supposedly cool surface of a guy. No matter how abrasive we are on the first few minutes meeting, it matters how the supposedly cool dude behaves. If he’s as cool as he in the inside, then he has a tremendous chance of seeing us again.

“Guys that are very confident are used to women doing this to them …”

Third Test: The Gender Role

The third test is a tricky power play of sorts. The Gender Role test is when we start to take charge and see how the guy can follow and eventually lead the interaction process in the first ten minutes of meeting.

“The way this comes out is that she’ll begin to take charge or take control of the interaction … leading around, turning away, stepping back, talking to someone else.”

According to Joshua Pellicer’s the Tao of BADASS dating tips, we do this to test the guy to determine if he’s strong enough to take charge of relationship. Will he follow or just totally disappear? It’s important to see how the guy responds to this test.

I must say that Joshua really gives guys a clear cut view of how we, women, assess any guy.

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Want To Meet The Right Guy? Stop Looking!

dating-mr-rightYou’ve looked everywhere. And probably even dated every single guy. But you still haven’t found the right guy. What are you to do?

Well if it’s any consolation, you’re not alone. You’re not the only one that hasn’t found the right guy. Look around you. You’ll find a lot of women looking for the right guy.

What Exactly Are You Looking For?

But the question is this. What exactly are the qualities you’re looking for? Have you actually really thought about it? Have you taken the time to actually list down all the qualities that you’re looking for? If not, then maybe you don’t know what you’re looking for.

That’s where the problem is. You’re looking for something. But you don’t know what it is. That’s pretty hard to do. Chances are, you won’t find what you’re looking for. How can you? You don’t know what you’re looking for.

Here’s a suggestion that can save you your precious sanity. Find out what you’re looking for. Write down the qualities if you have to. That can give you a clear cut picture of what you want. From there, you’ll be able to see the right guy.

Hold On To Your Wishlist

So write down all the qualities you want. Then make that your wishlist. Hold on to it. Why? Because chances are, you’ll soon forget what you’ve written down. That’s the sad truth. You can actually forget the qualities that you’re looking for. And if you forget them, you get all confused. Again, you’ll be looking for something that you’ve no idea about. That takes you back where you started.

So here’s a bit of an advice. Stick to your wishlist. If you want, make it your official dating checklist. This will come in handy every time you’re on a date. Finally, you’ll understand why you like him. And you’ll also understand why you don’t. Now, that’s going to help you find the right guy.

You Can’t Hurry Love

Analyze yourself. Be honest. Are you trying too hard? You can’t consider every single guy as Mr. Right. That just shows how desperate you are. At the same time, you can’t reject every single guy. If he’s lacking in some qualities, give it a shot. You can’t cross him out right away. Diana Ross and Phil Collins were right. You can’t hurry love.

Seriously, you just cannot speed up the whole dating process. Even if you were speed dating, it still wouldn’t be easy. You still wouldn’t be able to find Mr. Right. At least, not right away.

Don’t Rush

So girl, take your time. Don’t rush it. And if I may suggest, enjoy it. I’m sure someone has already said this to you. But I’ll say it just the same. Girl, you have the whole world ahead of you. Okay. You can shoot me for saying that. But it’s true.

You really want to meet Mr. Right, right? Then you need to take it easy. Stop looking for some kind of sign. Stop waiting for a white dove to appear. Stop waiting for a bouquet of roses to be delivered to you. And finally, stop rushing.

Take your time to really know what you’re looking for. Then hold on to that. Put in some considerations from time to time. But hang on to the main qualities. In due time, you’ll be able to visualize Mr. Right.

It’s really not easy to date these days. You’ll meet all kinds of guys. But if you have that one guy in mind, you’re safe. You don’t have to keep om looking. It’ll be easy for you to find Mr. Right. And you wouldn’t have to look so hard.

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Dating Tips: What To Avoid On Your First Date

First dates make everybody nervous. You’re never too sure on how to act or react on a first date. As much as you want the date to turn out right, there’s always a part of you that sees a bleaker picture.

So it never really hurts to go over some tips for the first date. You may probably have heard about these tips before. But it always pays to be reminded about them because in an uncomfortable situation, you’re bound to end up committing one of them.

The Three Things To Avoid On The First Date

Being aware of the things that you shouldn’t do on a first date strengthens the chances of seeing each other again. According to relationship expert, Ana Loiselle:

“There are three things the people commonly do that really ruin their chances to get to a second date.”

She shares these three things.

“The first one is they talk about their ex. It’s just a really bad idea . Going on and on about your ex makes the person that you’re actually on a date with … feel bad and it’s not focused on them. It’s actually focused on the ex. It makes the person wonder if you’re actually not over them.”

In case your date asks why you’re not married, Ana Loiselle recommends that you not answer such question.

“I say don’t! I think the best thing to do is to actually avoid the question to maybe stir them to another direction and let them know that you would rather talk about it at another time.”

You should always keep in mind that it’s just a first date and you aren’t be obliged to give to much personal information. Besides, it’s always better to be a little mysterious. Your date becomes more curious about you. This gives more chances of being asked out again.

The second mistake that most people commonly commit is that they monopolize the conversation. This happens a lot when you’re nervous.

“A lot of times, what people do … is talk and talk and talk and talk … But it’s not a good idea. You wanna get to know the other person; that’s why they’re there. So asking questions about common interest that you guys might share or maybe things that they’ve done that you don’t know about.”

This way, you can get to know more about your date and that’s pretty much the purpose of the date itself. But Ana has this to add:

“But remember, it should be back and forth. So if I asked you a question about your dreams and aspirations, the idea is that you banter back and ask me. That’s how to keep a conversation going.”

You really wouldn’t want to turn the date into an interrogation

The third mistake is that most people share their deepest secrets. It’s really advisable to keep that air of mystery.

“Stay away from things that are dark and uncomfortable because at best, the person is going to sit there and be polite. At worst, they may not come back from the bathroom.”

So always remember these three things. Who knows, you might just get to the second date.

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